What a Girl Wants!

Ok, so if they’re into swinging already, they are adult women, but the way Christina Aguilera sings it brings this title to mind.

Many men come to a swinger’s party for the first time knowing what their partner likes, but don’t realize right away that every woman is different, and you need to learn what your playmate likes. So how do you do this? Well, you don’t just walk up and start a conversation with “Hi I’m Jim, do you like to be fucked in the ass?” Who knows, you might get a favorable response, but, not likely.

What does she like?

Sometimes you can tell what a woman likes by the initial conversations, talking flirting, and even kissing. Feel her out…figuratively and literally. When you do get to a point of kissing, gently run your fingers through her hair. Test a light grip of her hair and see her reaction. If she doesn’t like it, you will know, but if she does like it…you will know. The same goes for her throat. Many women love to be choked, some absolutely hate it, and there are some in the middle who enjoy the simple touch of a man’s hand on her throat while kissing. You can feel this out as you kiss also. Most women will give you some reaction as to their desire for what you’re doing.

Learn to kiss.

This may seem ridiculous, but after 15yrs in the lifestyle, you’d be surprised how many people are not the best kissers. Kissing is not the simple task of trying to throat fuck your playmate with your tongue. It’s seductive, smooth and passionate. A woman knows a good kisser within seconds. Unless you’re bringing a 10 inch cock, this is your first hurdle.


Women love to be caressed. Most women do not initiate, (more do in the LS, but not most). While you’re having a conversation, and she’s isn’t looking like she trying to escape, (You should know what this looks like), ensure there is laughter, place your hand on her cheek. If she accepts it, she will look into your eyes. 99% of the time, this is her signal she wants to be kissed. If you lean in to kiss her and she turns to her cheek, she’s most likely not interested in playing with you. More than likely she will give you some feedback right away on her wants. If she does kiss you then you’re onto the next step.

Next Step

 The next step can be the decision-maker and you need to pay attention. The more experienced may ask if you want to go upstairs at this point. Some may want to kiss a little longer. If kissing is her desire, do not consider this an invitation to slip your fingers in her thighs. Caress her neck, slide your hand down to her breast. At this point, she will let you know what she doesn’t want. (She may even let you know what she does want) Slide your hand down her side and caress her ass. If she is wanting you, she will not only let you proceed but will want more. Here is where you can ask her if she wants to play, at which point she will let you know her rules as a couple, and you should let her know yours. Some couples have an open play concept and just let their partner know what they’re doing, some want to be part of the playtime as a 4some. Understand their rules and you’ll have a great time.

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