Vanilla Sitting A Newbie

We all can agree that “recruiting” to the swinger team is one of the many fun things that we get to do in the lifestyle.

We have alot of cute vanilla friends, made all the cuter because of their off-limits status. There is clearly something sexier and more erotic about the look of surprise and longing on the face of a vanilla friend being exposed for the first time. There is even more fun to be found in being the one holding their hand, then their towel .

Most full swap couples in the lifestyle have at very least dabbled with the concept of converting a friend or two they know. A friend at work, old friend you always liked or even that next door neighbor or family friend that always seemed a bit more exciting than most.

While there is a slight risk in the fact that you “can never UNtell” someone your lifestyle secret, we all also know when and who to break it to. We all have friends that are not quite vanilla and we know they would be open or interested in being a part of our fun.

Add to all this the fact that most swingers are very cordial and helpful in helping new couoples or “tire-kickers” who want to learn more. We have all been the new couple, latched to the wall, intimidated or just nervous of how things work and not wanting to overstep our bounds.

For this fact, most couples and experienced swingers are more than happy to escort you to a new club, a house party or simply sit and have drinks till 3AM talking about experiences and letting you learn a safe and easy way.

Keep in mind, we are staring at you like a tasty sandwich and hoping you will scream “LETS GO”, but sitting patiently all the same and being horny and helpful in one motion.

So when they person or couple says, “lets goto the club together”, “lets ride with you to that party you talked about”.

Now what do you do?

Of course, most of us say, “great idea”. We start getting ideas of a hot night with fresh meat and a great sexual experience with someone on their first time. Most of us say yes and go along with this fantasy that seldom turns out this way.

So my advice to you now is, don’t throw away a great party or that Saturday babysitter you worked so hard to get. While helping others learn and break-in is a great idea, this will almost never turn out as described in your fantasy talk with your wife.

We have found ourself at clubs on 3 or 4 occasions with the “new – dont know anyone” semi-vanilla couple or person attached to our hip. Every one of these have been cute for awhile then frustrating later when old friends start dancing with us and the party gets a bit hot and we need to be constantly good hosts.

This is like having a big party in your home. You think wow this will be great, you make all the decisions, set up everything, pick the music, but in the end it becomes you working while everyone else is in party-mode and having more fun than you.

Have that person over to your house for something more private and don’t waste that babysitter. Have that person drive to the club or party seperately and best yet get them a date or a “stunt-couple” so you are sure they have someone other than JUST you to talk with all night.

We have done this on a few occasions, we have everytime woke up the next day already planning our next party without any baggage. Without going into detail, we found ourselves standing and talking to them all night being courteous.

We essentially found ourselves reduced to vanillas in an attempt to help other not be.

And on the few occasions that we said “they’ll be fine” and went ahead, got naked got wild or just pursued couples we liked on our own for a bit, we tend to wake up the next day feeling guilty about their discomfort the night before.

It is certainly true it depends on the vanilla, if they are bold and good with people to begin with. They need to understand that they make their own fun. It is always a bit ackward as they learn about boundries and learn how and when it’s ok to do what. When that agressive leo male comes up and throws and arm around her or dives in for a kiss, these are the few surprises they need to not be surprised by.

Once they learn how it is different to be at a lifestyle party they will learn how to socialize without worry, unfortunately it tends to take a lifestyle couple having a PG-13 night of setting an example before they can get to this point.

So, in short, dont throw away that great party on breaking someone in. Best to lead them to water, teach them by stories at your place alone and let them fend for themselves at that big party.

It may sound a bit insensitive, but babysitters and great parties are not infinite and the vanilla-sitting is sure to waste one of each.