Anyone in the lifestyle for awhile is easy to spot as compared to a new couple. If you are at a swinger party or event, maybe at the Estate in Charlotte or a Aahz or Carolina Friends Party you can spot old vets and new fresh meat easily.
Just watch the body language with the crowds. Vets (unknown to us at first) have been with alot more people at the party or Estate than you may know. I am not judging, its just a fact that the circle of friends have broken down alot of walls between them over the years.
For these people, the social rules have changed between each other.
We are still somewhat new, but as these changes become apparent we are sure to share with you. Our hopes in these little revelations is to shorten the learning curve for the next couple.
We have called it kinda “fair game rule”. As to say as you get to know couples you see out the rules change. The couples you have danced and flirted with and shown a attraction to, you now will find yourself comfortable with the “waist up”.
That guy you see alot and like alot may kiss your wife, put an arm around her..etc. It is part of being nice socially.
When your wife has kissed and danced in almost nothing with another man, and you too like him to the point of comfort it opens up freedoms. These are so trivial in the swinging life that anyone of experience would find this silly to even mention. To a new swinger or vanilla thinking about the lifestyle, this may seem more relevent.
I have watched my wife dance, grind and share roaming hands with a guy we see out every weekend. She likes him alot, and I too think he’s a great guy. We have not advanced our relationship with him and his wife because I do not like her in that way. Since there is no “four way match” and neither of us play alone, this is doomed to be the end. It is fine that this is the end of our exachanges, it is a fact of swinging.
But once you have friends with comfort and have played together in certain ways the normal social etiquite change as well.
Our friend on the dance floor is a “waist up fair game friend” now. This means, he knows we are ok with anything waist up and respectful with my wife. He also knows thats the level of friendship it’s going to be with him.
Now we recently turned a waist up couple into a full swap couple. We finally sealed the deal with a hispanic wife and her husband and had a great time. We like them on alot of levels and played all night at a hotel near our house. We also see this couple almost weekly when we go out.
We are now waiting to see what rule this makes when we see them. Waist up fun for sure in public discrete places, but maybe more. We recently played apart somewhat to test it out. We wanted to see if this was something we could be comfortable with. My wife played upstairs awhile with a male friend she had been with before. This is an example of the changing rules. I am comfortable with the male, and he is respectful so it is natural to be ok with much more. He now knows that he is free to be playful in a more open way now that he is a social friend and someone we have both okay’d with being more whenever we all get together.
Part of sharing your raltionship in swinging is sharing an air of comfort. When a husband or wife doesnt bat an eye in these situations he shows his like for the other husband or wife. The lack or tension and total comfort in social and play is a high compliment.
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